Addicted to Hockey? Round III

Are you addicted to hockey? Let's find out.

You are if ...

~ you dress up as an old goalie –- for the second year in a row, but the first time in Florida –- to hand out candy for Halloween.

~ you know how to correctly pronounce Afinogenov (ah-fihn-ah-GEHN-ahf), Elias (ehl-EE-ahsh), Huet (oo-AY), Huselius (hoo-SAY-lee-oos) Jere (YUH-ree), Joni (YOH-nee), Kimmo (KEE-moh), Kovalchuk (koh-vuhl-CHOOK), Legace (LEH-gah-see) Miikka (MEE-kah), Niittymaki (NEE-too-mah-kee), Olaf (OH-lee), Prucha (PROO-khah), Satan (SHA-tuhn), Svatos (SVA-tohsh) and Toskala (TAWS-kah-lah).

~ you’re still checking out this page at the Ottawa Sun’s Web site, just to make sure your True North is Strong and Free.

~ you teach yourself to stickhandle and shoot lefthanded because, dag nabbit, no one told you as a child that’s how righthanded people play hockey.

~ you believe your mere presence, either at home in front of the TV or at the game itself, is the sole reason your team wins. Just like Buffalo's win tonight against Carolina. It was 3-3 when I started watching the game. The final: Buffalo 7, Carolina 4.

~ you begin to appreciate the inanity (if you don't know what it means, look it up) of hockey cheerleaders because, well, the Lightning put them to work cleaning up the ice.

~ you name your pets Foppa, Puck, Sidney Pawsby, Ovie or Espo.

~ you can't stop laughing at the Sedin Twins, especially after a night out on the town.

~ you wait until the last second to warn a person walking toward you with their head down, so you can see their lives passing before their eyes.

~ you keep needling your friends about the sorry states of their favorite hockey teams because you know, eventually, they’ll retaliate and take a stupid penalty.

~ you know that these Hanson Brothers have nothing to do with music.

~ you consider having an all-hockey tree, including Hallmark ornaments of Wayne Gretzky, Gordie Howe, Jaromir Jagr, Mario Lemieux and Eric Lindros (why wasn't one made for Bobby Orr?), for the holidays.

If you missed the first two installments, click here and here. Enjoy and, if necessary, seek professional help!



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