Ten questions with . . . oh well

After pulling a few strings, sharing my family's secret Christmas cookie recipe and mixing dried holly leaves with a dollop of week-old eggnog, I secured a guest for this month’s Ten Questions with . . . feature.

Actually, this will be a group interview, as the guests are . . . the Ghosts of Hockey’s Past, Hockey’s Present and Hockey’s Future.

Let’s not waste any time, shall we? Nip/Tuck starts in a few minutes.

Puckhound: So, gentlemen, what keeps you busy these days?
Hockey’s Past: Trying to find all that old hockey equipment. I see the prices that the old-time memorabilia is fetching at auctions, and I figure I should cash in on it. You know, we didn’t make the money that today’s players make.
Hockey’s Present: Making sure the neutral-zone trap never makes its way back into the game. Just when I thought Ken Hitchcock would be out of the game, Doug MacLean panics and hires him to coach the Blue Jackets.
Hockey’s Future: Waiting for something to happen. That’s the thing about the future. It’s not here just yet, but when it arrives, it quickly becomes the past. See what I mean?

PH: Yeah, in a way, I do. This is for Hockey’s Past. What’s the biggest change you’ve seen?
HPast: Just how light the equipment has become. It's like skating on thin air. That and those expensive one-piece sticks. Back in my day, $200 would buy all of your equipment, and we'd have to walk 17 miles in neck-high snow -- one way, mind you -- just to get our skates sharpened.

PH: This is for Hockey’s Present. What’s the biggest change you’ve seen?
HPresent: How the officiating this season has worsened. There's no consistency. Paul Stewart needs to come out of retirement. Or Kerry Fraser needs to ditch the helmet. That’s all I’m gonna say.

PH: This is for Hockey’s Future. What’s the biggest change you’ve seen?
HF: What a dumb question. How the heck am I supposed to know? It hasn’t happened yet.

PH: You’re right. Sorry about that. Moving on, now, in your opinion, Hockey Past, who’s the best player ever?
HPast: That’s a tough one. It could be Gordie Howe. Or The Rocket. Wayne Gretzky and Mario Lemieux are in there, too. Even Patrick Roy deserves consideration. The best ever? Gordie, by an elbow.

PH: How about you, Hockey’s Present. Who’s today’s best player?
HPresent: You know, everyone says its either Alexander Ovechkin or Sidney Crosby. There’s even some talk about this Evgeni Malkin kid. They’re good, you know, but they’re young. Do you know who I’d build a team around? Brendan Shanahan. He’s amazing.

PH: Only you, Hockey’s Future, will know this answer. Who’s the best prospect we’ve never heard of?
HF: There’s this kid, down in Florida, who the Almighty Gods of Hockey are watching. He hasn’t even started skating yet, but he will soon. He has the tools. He has the desire. He has the genes, too. His father, grew up in western New York, now, he was one helluva player, but he started skating too late. We’re not making the same mistake with this kid.

PH: A final question for you, Hockey’s Past. What do you miss the most?
HPast: When players played for love of the game, not the money and highlights, for the pure love of the game.

PH: I really don’t mean to put you on the spot, Hockey’s Present, but who’s gonna win the Stanley Cup this season?
HPresent: I know you picked the San Jose Sharks to win it, but I believe Anaheim and Buffalo have something special working this season. I say the Sabres in six.

PH: Finally, what changes should we expect, Hockey’s Future?
HF: This is only a guess, because, well, you know, it hasn’t happened yet. But I think it’ll be speed, speed and even more speed. Oh, yeah, I suspect we’ll have no-touch icing, before someone really gets hurt.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bobby Hull once said "Forget about the past. We're in the future now."

There's something sort of strange and time-travelly about that statement.

1:12 PM  
Blogger Puckhound said...

Maybe, but you should forget where you've been.

11:33 PM  

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