Addicted to Hockey? All Star Game edition

In honor of tonight's All Star Game at the American Airlines Center in Dallas, this round of questioning, to determine whether you're addicted to hockey, will take, maybe even predictably, an All Star Game slant and could even have a few rants.

Let's see, shall we?

Are you addicted to hockey? Should you answer "yes" to a majority of the following questions, I suggest you book a flight to Atlanta, Ga., on Jan. 14, 2008, book a room at a nice hotel near the Philips Arena through Jan. 17, 2008, and get yourself some tickets to the 2008 NHL All Star Game.

Make sure you buy one for me, too, because, after all, it was my idea.

Getting back on point, so to speak, here are some ways to tell whether you're addicted to hockey:

~ You'd gladly trade places with Martin Brodeur, Cristobaul Huet, Miikka Kiprusoff, Roberto Luongo, Ryan Miller and Marty Turco, even if it meant being the biggest duck in the shooting gallery. Granted, the players would be trying to shoot past you, but you could actually get hit by one of their shots. Trust me, if hockey balls at 20 mph hurt, just imagine frozen pucks in excess of 85 mph.

~ You're wondering why in God's name did the NHL hold the game on a Wednesday night. For poor saps like me, who had to work, I missed out on the game. Why not have it on the weekend before the NFL's Super Bowl? I'm certain, too, that with the 2008 event set for Wednesday, Jan. 16, 2008, I'll raise this question again.

~ A smile broke across your face when the Eastern Conference line of Philadelphia's Simon Gagne and Tampa Bay's Marty St. Louis and Vincent Lecavalier formed an updated version of the famed Buffalo Sabres' French Connection. The coach that put tonight's line together? None other than Buffalo's Lindy Ruff. I'm sure Richard Martin, Gilbert Perreault and Rene Robert wouldn't mind.

~ Speaking of Buffalo, you knew that MVP honors would go to a Sabres player. Daniel Briere, shown above, may be small, but he is the heart and soul of the Sabres, far more than Chris Drury. Also, Danny, if you're not sure what to do with that 2007 Dodge Nitro, feel free to call. I've got a spare spot in the driveway.

~ Believed Boston's Phil Kessel, considering what he's dealt with this year, was far more worthy of the YoungStars Game MVP award than New Jersey's Zach Parise.

~ Wondered why Toronto's Chad Kilger, who nailed a 106.6-mph slap shot during the Maple Leafs' team competition, wasn't involved in the hardest shot contest in the SuperSkills competition. For the record, Boston's Zdeno "The Prudential" Chara won individual honors with his 100.4 mph-laser.

~ Asked the American Airlines Center crew for the targets broken by Atlanta's Marian Hossa or Carolina's Eric Staal during the Shooting Accuracy contest. I also wonder how long it'll be before all four Staal brothers (Eric, Jordan, Marc and Jared) will play in an All Star game.

~ You spent $350 on one of those authentic RBK Edge jerseys so you would feel lighter and not worry about perspiration while standing in the beer line at your home rink. And then you plopped down another $75 to have your own name and "07" put on it.

~ Spent the past three days living out of your car because you couldn't find a hotel room with 100 miles of Dallas charging less than $300 a night, not including armadillos and cockroaches, and you bought one of those RBK Edge jerseys.

~ You considered this week, even if the All Star Game was the highlight, the longest of the year because you haven't seen a real game since this past Saturday.