Finally, something to read

Some random thoughts on The Hockey News' 2006-07 Yearbook while ignoring the Yankees-Red Sox game, reshaping the "steal-my-lunch-money" brim (read, to any urban-based Hound Central 2.0 followers, as flat) on my new Montgomery Biscuits batting practice cap and digging on Lisa's homemade hot-and-sour soup.

~ While Alexei Kovalev certainly looks like he spent one day too long in P-Town or Miami's South Beach, get a load of Julianna, at left, in the Warrior hockey ad on the inside cover. She could hold my, uh, Sher-Wood anytime.

~ The Insider Picks on Page 4 are mostly dead-nut perfect, save for two changes. There is no way in hell that Florida, and not Tampa Bay, makes the Eastern Conference playoffs. Out West, it's my belief that Edmontonians, especially now that we know Mrs. Chris Pronger couldn't stand life in Canada's heartland, should savor the Oilers' failed Stanley Cup run last year. Now that Vancouver finally has a goalie, one perhaps that the Lightning should have dealt for, the Canucks are far too deep to not make some noise.

~ The picture of Sidney Crosby on Page 5, shot during a commercial, looks more like The Next One's dash to a team bus, escaping the hordes of money-grubbing scumbucket dealers who will someday learn that it's better, and smarter, to collect than sell. Collecting autographs was a lot more fun before eBay was born, wasn't it?

~ The step-by-step guide to scoring like Alexander Ovechkin on Page 7 is a real hoot. I've even practiced it a couple times, but had to stop after rolling over our cat, Bella, and, in the ensuing mayhem, breaking, but failing to light, a living room lamp.

~ Here's hoping that all of my game-worn jersey cards of Joey Thornton will produce enough genetic material to create a Hart Trophy-winning hockey god once cloning becomes legal. THN presents its case on Page 10.

~ For collectors who like to get sigs on magazines (yeah, I'm talking about you Eddie, Postal Mark and Paul from Hartford), there are great full-page pictures of Francophobe, and notorious toughy, Sean Avery (Page 33), Henrik Lundqvist (Page 40), Corey Perry and Ryan Getzlaf (Page 46) and Sid the Kid (Page 56) to quench your quirky thirsts.

~ And, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't Carolina's Mike Commodore violating North Carolina's open-container law on Page 210? Given the alcohol-fueled death of Steve Chiasson in 1999 (toxicology reports showed his blood-alcohol content was 0.27 percent, more than three times the state's legal limit of 0.08 percent), THN's photo editors showed incredibly poor judgment.

Because I haven't had time to read the team previews, I'll save that for a future post. Trust me, there's more to write about.